The young man in the hardware shop was extremely rude to me. I bought some paint to transform my brick wall into a beach scene, to make it look as though I live on a beach (it only took a few hours to choose the exact shade of blue I wanted) and I loaded the cans into … [Read more...] about Outrageous youth
Posts from the Dark Ages
Deus ex machina
So I spent the morning with some Young Thing checking my blood pressure, bone density and asking me questions to which I answered almost truthfully. (Who tells the whole truth in a health check-up? Do you?) Anyway, the upshot is I have an exercise regime to … [Read more...] about Deus ex machina
A market demographic
I'm going to do it this time. One of those advertising flyer things in the letterbox got to me. I usually tip the entire bunch of advertising bumfph into the paper recycle bin just under the letterbox, but this one caught my eye, a woman-only gym with a couple of plump … [Read more...] about A market demographic
Shiny hands
This is a moisturiser. This what I rub into my hands. It stands on the sink and after I've had my egg, toast and vegemite in the morning, I wash the plates and then rub some of this cream on my hands. This is a floor cleaner. This is what I rub into the floor. Doesn't … [Read more...] about Shiny hands
Awful pets
The Gastropod thing is getting worse. Imagine for a second, a common brown garden snail, and now imagine one of those more than 20 centimetres long.That's what's been found on the Gold Coast, not far from one of Queensland's most popular nature parks, and the discovery … [Read more...] about Awful pets
Park Pews for the People
My local Council unveiled their contribution to Australia Day this morning. A new bench in the Park. Pretty pathetic I thought, you can't help but compare the contributions of our great-grandfathers with their huge lumps of statuary on every corner. The old boys donated … [Read more...] about Park Pews for the People
The Good Luck Frog
My grandmother used to say 'A frog brings good luck to the house it enters.' This is possible, I started thinking about frogs and, lo and behold, a cheque I was waiting for arrived this morning. It worked! I had better keep this information to myself or the Council … [Read more...] about The Good Luck Frog
I think it may be the bathroom
Getting out of my bath this morning I felt a little dizzy, I think it's the spots combined with the squares that throw me off kilter. My Council Home Help girl has been nagging me about the colour scheme but I supect she's an ageing hippy and wants to bring in a … [Read more...] about I think it may be the bathroom
Money saving tips
On the television earlier tonight, I watched a woman in a yellow frock giving out money saving tips. How can you take anyone wearing a yellow frock seriously? Even Imelda Marcos wouldn't be caught dead in one. Anyhow, her money saving tips were along the lines of … [Read more...] about Money saving tips
Was God a Gardener?
I had a serious confrontation with a gang of gastropods this morning. This is not the first time that we have run into problems. First off, I don't like 'em. I don't like snails or any of their numerous cousins and assorted kinfolk. That said, I realise they have a … [Read more...] about Was God a Gardener?
Some mornings …..
Some mornings it doesn't pay to look in the mirrorI stood, staring at my head in a sort of incredulous shock for a full five minutes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My hair was sticking upwards and outwards in a weird parabolic curve, like a dead bush out in the … [Read more...] about Some mornings …..
Exercise Tips
You know how important exercise is, as we grow older. Here are a few suggestions. I start each morning by standing outside behind the house and, with a five kilo potato sack in each hand, extending my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I … [Read more...] about Exercise Tips
I must have lost my humour
Who said laughter is as good as exercise? This isn't funny, this is a true story:While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the … [Read more...] about I must have lost my humour
Know a good joke?
Does Laughing Keep Us Healthy--Even Make Us Well? Absolutely. When we laugh, our metabolism rate picks-up, muscles are massaged and stimulated, and a variety of biochemical substances rush into the bloodstream. Studies have demonstrated that, after a period … [Read more...] about Know a good joke?
I don’t get the joke
Is this a joke? I found an old news article at ABC Science NewsIt basically says that you won't lose your sense of humour as you get older, but you might find it harder to “get” some jokes.The research is by Dr Prathiba Shammi, a psychologist with Baycrest Centre for … [Read more...] about I don’t get the joke
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Two Stirring QuotesI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.Phyllis DillerWhen I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old … [Read more...] about Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
In your dreams!
Scientists say you can increase the strength of your muscles just by sitting back and imagine yourself taking exercise -- a discovery that could help patients too weak to exercise to start recuperating.Muscles move in response to impulses from nearby nerve cells called … [Read more...] about In your dreams!
Usless Trivia
The = sign was invented by 16th Century Welsh mathematician Robert Recorde, who was fed up with writing "is equal to" in his equations. He chose the two lines because "noe 2 thynges can be moare equalle".When faced with danger, the octopus can wrap six of its legs … [Read more...] about Usless Trivia
Housework, bloody housework
The week with my tenant has literally flown by. Angie at Miracle Housekeeping has finished the week of rent here. I shall miss her (I've been checking on her struggles with the Dreaded Clutter)Clutter : Look Angie, the thing about housework is -- it's work, it's … [Read more...] about Housework, bloody housework
Exercise — why bother?
You don't need expensive gyms or elaborate equipment, the best equipment you have is your own body.Rebuild healthy bones. When you exercise to control your spreading middle, you also help your bones which become easier to fracture as they diminish in strength and size. … [Read more...] about Exercise — why bother?