When you see a sign saying Don’t Feed the Baboons, it means don’t feed the baboons, but there’s always some moron who reckons that the law doesn’t apply to him.
Baboons are protected in South Africa. You can’t shoot them, but they really need protection from the intellectually-challenged tourists who think it’s jolly good fun to toss a sausage sandwich out the window at the “cute” baboons.
Baboons aren’t cute, they’re wild animals. They’re also very, very dangerous. Personally, I’d rather face a mob of drunken Carlton supporters who’ve just lost the Grand Final to Collingwood than an aggressive baboon. Have you seen their teeth? The baboon’s teeth I mean.
The baboons have quickly learned that people carry carbohydrate-rich snacks in cars. They’ve also learned that people are easy targets, with no tough hide, claws or fangs to repel a marauding baboon troop.
This week the South African authorities were forced to kill ‘Fred’, a magnificent example of baboonhood (and better looking than any Carlton supporter).
Why did they shoot Fred?
Because blasted idiots kept feeding him! When he wasn’t fed from a tourist’s car, he understandably got very stroppy. Fred could force his way into vehicles, open doors and rummage through the packed lunch. No ham and cheese in the back seat? Fred would tear open any handbag, backpack or stylish laptop case in the car searching for munchies and he taught his whole extended family to do the same.
In the end, Fred got so aggressive in his scramble for food that he attacked any tourist who tried to stop him.
More of the same ..
The baboons have it all worked out
(I hear that idiots are feeding wild bears in Canada too)